In the Chaos.... and In the Calm

I've said it several times in recent days; sometimes helping those in need is challenging. Some wounds are so deep, so disturbing. Some needs are So Big. I remember a song from childhood: My God is So Big So Strong and So Mighty There's Nothing My God Cannot do. My class of 3 year olds love to point at each other (and me) and holler the final phrase: FOR YOU!! There is comfort in that long held truth, though I know that moving forward towards healing is daunting for some and others need a great deal of intervention to get free. Setting foot on the path to wellness sometimes requires help from outside ourselves. Yet God IS capable of providing every resource needed. My role is to be the light- for there is only ONE who is the healer. Perspective and self care is imperative when faced with the overwhelming and nature is a balm when I am troubled by what is beyond my scope. Behind our neighborhood is an undeveloped area, an...

How are you doing today?" A simple question that can unleash struggles and trials and traumas beneath the surface. I ask this question often, as there are those in my home who struggle with anxiety and depression. Sometimes the answer is, "Fine", when I know in my heart they are not fine- and I struggle, and pray, and wait until they are ready to share. Sometimes the answer is honest and heart wrenching all at once. And sometimes, the answer leads to an intense season of intervention, with support from those who are trained to help. It is heart wrenching to see one you love more than life struggle to stay present in it.  I can work off some of my own anxiety with the necessary medical response. Once an emergency doctor appointment has been scheduled, a counselor who is a good fit is found, and insurance approval has finally been given (after hours and days on the phone), there is a necessary stillness. A time to wait, and pray, and deal with my own feelings and em...

Last weekend, events in Charlottesville, Virginia proved that hate and prejudice have devastating consequences. We are making strides, but there is more work to do. Yesterday, our guest speaker at church, Travis Burdett, encouraged us to: Stand against hate and stand for  l ove.  To look within and identify our own prejudices- and let God change them.  He challenged us to spend some time with someone very different from us. Someone we would not normally speak to. Someone we might judge harshly if we did not take a moment to truly see and understand. He challenged us to have a conversation and Listen. Really listen. With an open mind and loving heart. He said, "Listening is Revolutionary in a world where everyone is yelling at one another."  Jesus himself was an avid listener- and all who encountered him were challenged. Many were transformed simply by encountering Living Grace. What would Jesus do in light of recent events? Well, take a look at what Je...

I personally am of the opinion that Jesus would shop at Target.  He'd be there encouraging Mamas with full hands, speaking words of kindness as they try to grab milk and eggs while wrestling fussy youngsters who are throwing fits because she did not buy them candy, or allow them to run amok in the toy aisle. He'd offer words to fill hearts, and a genuine understanding of the truth that parenting is hard and while Mamas may not "enjoy every moment" we do purpose to find moments to connect with the hearts of our children and enjoy who they are, and who they are becoming--even if they exhaust our ever lovin' patience at times (like when we are in Target). Jesus would be taking time out for the older, lonely folks- He would help them reach the products they have a hard time getting to, and then he would walk WITH them for a good long while, tarrying . Knowing that He could be the only one all week to treat them with respect and truly listen to them, un-rushed, for ...

Loss. It can come quietly, in expected waves, or suddenly, in a single blinding moment. It can leave debris scattered across city blocks, charred remains of ash and steel, blood and soul. Some days we've never forgotten.  "The grief does not go away," one victim whispered. Such loss. So much trauma.  In the days that followed, shock and grief carved caverns which are unquantifiable. The families of the victims do not remember only today. They carry aching chasms, never again feeling quite whole.  In times like these, the question comes: Where is God when the unspeakable happens?  Images seared in my mind, I offer up a question in response, "Who would do such a thing? " It was my first coherent thought after the madness. In the days that came, my husband packed his military gear, and I watched footage after work. Hope for survivors waned, and carnage evoked the reality of war come home. The question reeled- "Who would do such a thing?"  As the...

Chaos exploded across my life last week- unexpected, though I try to be aware that there is more at work in this world than what I can see. In the mornings, in the moments of quiet, I am working to purposely chose to connect to the Voice of Truth, drawing me back from the brink.  Sometimes I believe I am on my own in this journey, but Truth reminds me that, even when my help-mate is traveling, I am still not alone.  In the cool of the morning, I get out into the beauty of nature, and find stress relief through exercise, while being soothed by the lush green wilderness bordering our neighborhood park. I needed the endorphins and the spiritual connection badly after being mired in a fiery battle last week.   After a time of release and recovery, of refocus and refreshing,  today I am:    Grateful- for cool weather for my morning run/walk, and a new week with a fresh start.  Prayerful- that the week ahead will bring me to a place of g...

It took me by surprise, stunned me really. I was sharing my struggles and a dear sweet soul Thanked me for Not Being Perfect . Sometimes it's hard to find words.  To this moment all I can come up with is: Wow. I mean really... WOW. Sometimes I say, "I don't have to be perfect, because Jesus already was." And I believe it, much of the time. Comfort myself with it when I have lost control of my mouth after 8 hours with a Stubborn Teenager Who Does Not Want to Study For Finals and Goes Into the Bathroom to Hide- (for the umpteenth time). I mean, really. Who can be perfect in the face of such madness? In this season my primary ministry is my family, and this is where self-criticism strikes deepest. One of my sons struggles with a number of health issues, including depression. The fall of 2014 was particularly traumatic for us as a family as we desperately sought how to help him. Part of my own process was battling guilt. Guilt over how stressed and anxious a...