The Big Why, Part Two

 Do you ever ask God, "Why?" 

I'd like to say I haven't, but ya'll, the truth is that yes, I have. A few weeks ago my husband asked for a divorce. 

I was shocked. I never in a million years thought this would happen to me. I was careful in who I chose to get serious with. I purposefully waited until I felt God had given his stamp of approval on the relationship. I chose someone who not only shared my faith but also actively served God and was dedicated to him. I did everything I knew to do to be sure and choose "the right person"... But the truth is nobody ever thinks this will happen to them. Most people who say "I do" intend it to be forever. And very few people see this sort of thing coming. 

So why do these things happen? 

I don't know the full answer, but I can tell you some truths: 

Truth #1: 

I grew immensely through the friendships and mentorships God connected me with while married to an army chaplain. I got to participate in an inner healing study that freed me from some unhealthy behaviors and beliefs I'd long had-- and later God used that study to help others I met along the way. And in addition to the lovely people who helped me grow, God allowed me to be a part of helping other hurting souls along the way. I would not be who I am today if I had not married my husband.  I would not have my two beautiful boys either- and I would not trade them for the world! 


Truth # 2 

God does not control, He invites.   

The question we often ask is "Why didn't God stop this from happening?" I'm learning that the answer is that God does not dominate us or force us to come to Him, He stands at the door and lovingly knocks. 

 People often say, "God is in control" but that's not how God works. God does not control, He invites. He allows free will, even if it is not what He would choose for us. People are quick to blame God for their problems but the truth is the fingerprints left behind are very often the enemy's, or our own-- not God's. 

Truth #3 

 God DID protect me. He prepared me for this, provided ahead of time what I would need-- including those who are walking with me through the fire. 

There are many storms in this life because we live in an imperfect world. God does not protect us from the storms, but He promises to be with us in them, never forcing, only inviting. He holds me, helps me, carries me through. He rescues me from me, and He heals the wounds others inflict... as I allow Him to. As I seek Godly counsel and connect with people who love Jesus and are trained to help me, I am finding healing. 

Despite all that has happened, I'm finding healing, already. I'm going to be OK because I am not alone in this. My Jesus is with me!! He's holding me through the storm. He is my healer, the lover of my soul, the only One who embodies love. Jesus is my everything, and He never fails to give beauty for ashes. I trust him to guide me to a place of wellness and wholeness and I know He will provide for every need along the way. 


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