The Big Why, Part Two

 Do you ever ask God, "Why?" 

I'd like to say I haven't, but ya'll, the truth is that yes, I have. A few weeks ago my husband asked for a divorce. 

I was shocked. I never in a million years thought this would happen to me. I was careful in who I chose to get serious with. I purposefully waited until I felt God had given his stamp of approval on the relationship. I chose someone who not only shared my faith but also actively served God and was dedicated to him. I did everything I knew to do to be sure and choose "the right person"... But the truth is nobody ever thinks this will happen to them. Most people who say "I do" intend it to be forever. And very few people see this sort of thing coming. 

So why do these things happen? 

I don't know the full answer, but I can tell you some truths: 

Truth #1: 

I grew immensely through the friendships and mentorships God connected me with while married to an army chaplain. I got to participate in an inner healing study that freed me from some unhealthy behaviors and beliefs I'd long had-- and later God used that study to help others I met along the way. And in addition to the lovely people who helped me grow, God allowed me to be a part of helping other hurting souls along the way. I would not be who I am today if I had not married my husband.  I would not have my two beautiful boys either- and I would not trade them for the world! 


Truth # 2 

God does not control, He invites.   

The question we often ask is "Why didn't God stop this from happening?" I'm learning that the answer is that God does not dominate us or force us to come to Him, He stands at the door and lovingly knocks. 

 People often say, "God is in control" but that's not how God works. God does not control, He invites. He allows free will, even if it is not what He would choose for us. People are quick to blame God for their problems but the truth is the fingerprints left behind are very often the enemy's, or our own-- not God's. 

Truth #3 

 God DID protect me. He prepared me for this, provided ahead of time what I would need-- including those who are walking with me through the fire. 

There are many storms in this life because we live in an imperfect world. God does not protect us from the storms, but He promises to be with us in them, never forcing, only inviting. He holds me, helps me, carries me through. He rescues me from me, and He heals the wounds others inflict... as I allow Him to. As I seek Godly counsel and connect with people who love Jesus and are trained to help me, I am finding healing. 

Despite all that has happened, I'm finding healing, already. I'm going to be OK because I am not alone in this. My Jesus is with me!! He's holding me through the storm. He is my healer, the lover of my soul, the only One who embodies love. Jesus is my everything, and He never fails to give beauty for ashes. I trust him to guide me to a place of wellness and wholeness and I know He will provide for every need along the way. 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

That time When God Told Elijah to take a Nap

Ya'll, it's been a rough few months. Heck, it's been a rough year. It's the anniversary of the week when COVID-19 brought unprecedented changes. Many lost their jobs as businesses closed and the economy suffered. I was in that number. My family has been fortunate... just before the COVID assistance stopped, a door opened to teaching position, and I found myself going back to public school after 20 years. #thingsIneverthoughtwouldhappen #theOnlydoor I've heard it said that "There is no tired like Teacher Tired." After 5 months of long hours and multiple huge projects piled on all at once (plus a steep learning curve in a new grade level) I can attest that this is truth. I have not felt this tired since the year that my oldest son spent months in and out of the hospital on a monthly and weekly basis.  There is an exhaustion that goes beyond the physical and seeps into the very psyche. All of who I am, physically, emotionally, and spiritually has been excepti
Read more

The Big Why

A loved one asked me recently, "Why did God cause this to happen? What lesson are we supposed to learn?" The context, of course,  was the COVID-19 Quarantine. Here's the thing: I don't believe God caused this to happen. Just like I don't believe God "gave " my oldest son Type 1 Diabetes at the age of four, or depression and anxiety at the age of 16. I don't believe God "caused" my husband to have PTSD or my other son to have a sensory disorder due to birth trauma (God did not cause the birth trauma either). God caused none of this. My loved one replied to my assertion, "But He allowed it. He's got to want us to learn something from it." The underlying question is: Why does God allow suffering? And one of the big myths of the Christian faith is "so that we can learn something from it". Now, before you get overly excited about me calling this a myth, just take a moment to breathe and "Listen to UNDERS
Read more

Beauty For Ashes

 God's timing is perfect. Even when we are broken. Even when our whole world is falling apart. Even when we are on the floor weeping and wailing and crying out in anguish.  Before we even glimpse our healing, God is already behind the scenes working. Preparing the Way for us. Providing for needs we did not even know we had. Little did I know when I was sobbing on the hard, cold bathroom floor, God was moving. He was preparing something so beautiful... something beyond what I could have imagined.  Psalm 30:11-12 says,  You turned my wailing into dancing,  You removed my garments of mourning, and clothed me with joy,  that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. O Lord, my God, I will give thanks to you forever.   The Voice version says:  You turned my deepest pains into joyful dancing! When God told me, "It's time to cease mourning and get up and dance", He knew the gift that was on the horizon. Not that the grieving process is irrevocably over, but there wa
Read more