In the Chaos.... and In the Calm

Today has been the kind of day that makes me stop and realize what I take for granted. Like a pharmacy that has insulin. In stock. Suddenly health and freedom take on new meaning. God has provided, as always, like in the story of the widow of Zarepath, with her handful of flour and jug of oil. We have what we need for today. God has asked me to trust him with tomorrow, as was the case yesterday, too. And so it was that when I cried out to God for help, I caught sight of the dawning day; the lush greenery lining the expanse behind our home, beckoning. An invitation, whispered, "Come to me, all who are weary and heavy burdened". So I put on my running shoes and entered the great unknown. Up the hill, and down again, throwing off the heavy mantle of burdens, working to walk free. And a prayer filled my mind, as many cares poured into His heart. Needs and worries, medical issues, prescriptions, and gaping needs flowed beyond my own capacity. I laid down my desire to control...

S ometimes it feels as if I am too tired to heal. I just want to get away for a bit, to have a much needed respite from the madness. When life is spinning out of control, it's hard to work through the losses that have come before. Often there seem to be many stops and starts along the way. Sometimes the best case scenario is simply staying connected to the One who carries me through. Survival is important, yes, but connection is imperative. Weariness settles over me, like a cloak of dust, penetrating into the inner recesses of my being. When bent low by burdens, I wonder if the weariness will cling to me for life. I want to shrug out from under the careworn mantle, but I know that this time, the only way to find release is through rest.    Fatigue is a part of the healing process. There comes a time when our bodies simply need rest. When dealing with multiple life changes all piling up at once, sorting through seems complicated. I often liken the process to searching throu...

All has been quiet on the page of late. I wish I could say the same of my life! Since I last wrote we have had another onslaught of illnesses and germs, which began late in June in the form of a two week sparring session with strep. I find myself longing for restful days, for weeks without a trip to Urgent Care. Again I find myself worn down (which is probably why I got sick too. Twice.) I won't mislead you; there have been days where we've felt good and gone on fun outings. But mostly the last month has involved recovering. Much has had to be released; whatever is not an imminent need has found its way to the altar. I feel as if I am being sorted and sifted.   I know I am not the only one. There's a historical account of sifting in the book of Luke, beginning in chapter 22. It was a time of celebration; every year the Jews observed the Passover meal, remembering God's deliverance. As Jesus and his disciples gathered, our own Savior shared how very much he looked fo...

I've been reading in the book of Matthew. Today was a short passage- only verses 22 and 23 of chapter 1. But, sometimes, two is enough. Verse 23 reads, "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel- which means "God with Us." A little note above the word Immanuel refers me to Isaiah 7:14. In Isaiah 7:14 I find the same sentence,  "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son", and another little note that tells me: Immanuel means "God with Us". Growing up I was taught that when a phrase in the bible is repeated, it's for emphasis. So today, the emphasis is is on "God with us"... and especially, "God with me. "   (I do love italics. I use them for--you guessed it-- emphasis!) God with me. God with  me! This means so very much. Especially now when I am tired and worn from a long season of medical issues that began back in November. We've had 'routine sur...

So in my last post I shared that the exploration into gluten free baking (from scratch, not a mix) has taken me to some interesting places, and I've found something for me along the way. I cam across some interesting blogs, beginning with  http://www.sortacrunchy.net/sortacrunchy/ Oooooh, I thought. What is Crunchy living? Sounds like granola to me. (Have I mentioned I love Granola?) I was intrigued. A little research revealed that Sorta Crunchy is about more natural living. Ok, I can get behind that. To the right of the home page was a little picture that said "I wash my face with oil." That sounded different. But interesting. A little more research and I thought, well... that sounds... (you guessed it) interesting! Now, a little history. My skin is beginning to show a few signs of age.  And I recently invested in one of those expensive face creams (after I ran out of the Avon stuff). And my skin reacted to it. Little red dots, and dryness. Which was od...

Ever since my days in Maryland I've wanted to be a Granola Mom. It was during this season that I first began to learn lessons about nutrition that had escaped me in my post pregnancy Atkin's Diet and Weight Watchers days. I found Trader Joe's-- and I learned to see food as fuel, not filler. The boys and I started taking Juice Plus then, and I began to exercise daily and cook healthier. Then we moved to San Antonio, with very little notice (one of those surprise military moves) and shortly after that my oldest son was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. And so I was plunged head first into a deep gorge of knowledge about healthier living. Healthier GLUTEN FREE living. Because not everything that is gluten free has nutritional value. (Though I did find Gluten Free Granola.) These days, the boy is completely gluten free and the rest of us are "whole grain based". We're a couple years in and I am still learning. Recently I decided I'd like to try baking my own gl...

Since I am "going public", it's time to share: My family does "church at home". Now, don't go running screaming for the hills. It's not that I have a problem with other people of faith. Not at all. It is simply that PTSD has shaped my life in a myriad of soul carving, heart changing ways. In this season, the mission field God has called me to is my family.  I feel like we've gone back to our roots, discovering the beauty of gathering together in the home and loving God. And I'm closer to him now than when I was running music and children's ministry at one chapel and teaching and serving on the board at another. (Can we say over-commitment? Yes, this is how I coped while my husband was deployed.) I find that I am always connected to his heart when I walk with him, accepting the course he's plotted for my life in each individual season.  Once someone accused me of "forsaking the gathering together of the saints." (Just a...