In the Chaos.... and In the Calm

One of the great myths of modern day Christianity is that of a controlling God. Whether the day is going badly or the horrendous has happened, the platitude "God is in control" abounds.  My sweet friend Marilynn, from our Ladies By Design writing group gave me food for thought during a discussion about control. Control is self centered manipulation of people and circumstances to reach a desired outcome- sometimes through the compromising of values. Most often control is rooted in fear . God, however, is not fearful. Nor is God self centered.   God is the embodiment of unselfish, unconditional love. He has no need to "control".  Consider the flowers in the field, Marilynn urged.  God created the seed, set in motion the processes of wind dispersal and weather systems, providing soil and seasons, rain and sun. Yet God does not force the flower to bloom. He invites the seed to die, to germinate, to put down roots into fertile soil, to grow and blossom. So,...

I have longed for joy in this season when my son's health seems to have spiraled out of control. I have had to pray and release, pray and release, all while strains of Christmas music fill the air. So many songs about peace and joy. I wonder, what is joy? Where, exactly, does it begin and end? Throughout my life Christmas has been a time of wonder and awe. My birthday falls on the day after we celebrate the birth of this Savior for all mankind. It was personally significant to me to share my birthday with Jesus- to have my own birth celebrated even while celebrating the miracle of God's great love for us. His love, in fact, has permeated my existence. Every season, whether I walked close to him or held my heart at a distance, I was drawn by that glorious love. But joy? I have struggled to find joy on this special needs pathway. I am beginning to accept that my definition of joy differs from God's deep understanding of it. I have seen joy as a great burst- a sudden a...