Saturday, November 23, 2013

And Today I Remembered to Take Care of Me


Self care. It's a concept I spent years learning, and teaching to other caregivers of wounded veterans- and I am still "in process". After a few months of increased stress and my fall from the well balanced wagon, I have made progress, but this week was full of medical mayhem. Nothing earth shattering, just the usual issues plus the extra work within the medical system to get needs updated and doctor visits approved and one medical organization to effectively communicate with another.

Again the reminder came to stop. To rest, to Breathe. To do more than whisper prayers from the void, but rather nestle in and be filled. So after criss-crossing the metroplex to meet many needs, today was the first in a while with No. Appointments. None. And it dawned on me that the swelling of my eye lids needs to be addressed. Ohhhhhh.

All week I'd had swelling and peeling lids. But I was pushing through, pressing in, pouring out stress through working out and addressing this issue did not even cross my mind. Until today, when I stopped, and looked at the day before me. There was plenty to do, but part of my learning has been to seek God's purpose in each moment. So I stopped and asked God to order my steps. The answer? Take care of you. See to your own wellness. 

whoosh of of cleansing air, the realization almost knocked the wind out of me. I've made peace with the truth that I care better for those I love when I take care of me, but in the whirlwind I simply forgot. I did not need permission for my needs to be met, but I did need a reminder to do so. 

There was no room for self deprecation, no time to wallow in my insufficiency. The call was to get moving. Nourish my body, and search out wise counsel. 

I am so thankful today that I have a God who gives unconditional  grace, relentless mercy, as well as needed nudges to focus my attention on my own needs. 

I am so thankful for a savior who frees me from condemnation and gives me hope and healing. 

Most of all I am thankful for the Lover of My Soul, who sees me, accepts me, and fills my every need as I submit to His tender, Loving care. 

What are you thankful for today? 

~Just Me

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