Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Healing Truth

I've known this by heart since childhood, words of life and newness: "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was (and is) God." I hold another translation, new and fresh, see the words leap from the page into my heart:

 "Before time itself was measured, the Voice was speaking. The Voice was and is God. This celestial Word remained ever present with the Creator. His speech shaped the entire cosmos.

Immersed in the practice of creating, all things that exist were birthed in Him. His breath filled all things with a living, breathing light- a light that thrives in the depths of darkness, blazes through murky bottoms. It cannot and will not be quenched." (The Voice)

 Meaning flows over me like music. Jesus became the part of God humanity can touch. He reached out and placed hands on the diseased, the helpless, the shunned. He gave new life to the dying, the broken of heart, and still today the Voice shines clear, reaching out to all who choose to draw near. Jesus, meaning "the Lord Saves" those who question, those who don't understand, and especially, those in need of Hope. There is much darkness in this world; there is loss and pain, but there is also Light... a light that thrives in the depths of darkness. A light that brings hope and healing.

 The Voice took on flesh and became human and chose to live alongside us. We have seen Him, enveloped in undeniable splendor—the one true Son of the Father—evidenced in the perfect balance of grace and truth. (John 1:14) 

Truths in a jagged life can be hard, leave me gaping. I've been in the place where truths left me empty. Diagnosis can sometimes bring more questions, harder questions. Labels can be terrifying, futures frightening, yet there is one Truth that heals, existing as the God-man who uniquely knows our pain. His Voice was, and is, the complete balance of grace and truth. Intimate anguish mingled with God's heart view, that sees and knows and comforts. The Safe One who allows our questions- welcomes our authenticity, no matter how ragged. The heart that cries out for him will always be held.   

So question. Be real with him, for this One has been real with humanity. Real flesh, real blood, real skin that bled and organs that failed. Real hands that held, and lips that spoke words of life and healing. Real feelings, real emotions, very real grief. He knows every bit of us- intricately.  In the fullness of time-at exactly the right moment- the Light that shines into the deepest, darkest places of the heart came to a flawed and needy humanity. He walked as one of us.  

He knew struggle and sadness, physical and emotional agony. His feet had real scars, his heart knew deep grief. His tears were authentic, borne of profound mourning. He lived in the broken places of this life too, and he knows every pain and trial we face. He knows.

In the questioning, in the place of agonizing authenticity, I find more of Jesus. His life, his perspective, his strength, his divine power moving me forward, leading me into His plans and purposes for me. I speak a healing truth once more: His presence is the gift in suffering. In Immanuel is the light that thrives in the depths of darkness, God with Us, the One Truth who Heals.

~Just Me

Tuesday, February 11, 2014


Fifteen years ago I was in a hospital room immersed in delivering life into this world. Bearing down for all I was worth until relief flooded my being and the celebration began. I was delivered into Motherhood- not quite ready for all it would bring.

Today I wait in a hospital room. My son's steady breathing whispers next to me, and I breathe relief. The crisis is over, and, stress waning, I rest too, giving thanks for medical miracles bringing life back from the brink. I nod as truth washes over me; God is real in long hours of crisis, and in the quiet that follows. I see his touch in my heart this very day. Fatigue, too, is real, yet it wanes in light of deliverance. The work is not over- for there will be much monitoring  in the days and nights to come. Sleep will be sacrificed for watchfulness, quiet will give way to care-giving.

Despite many needs ahead, despite lack of slumber- now, and in the weeks to come- there is a restfulness found in moments like this. After the fray, after the coming and going of many medical professionals, I find my heart flooded with gratefulness for another day. Time on this earth is fleeting, I know this. I can not know how many moments are still to come, nor can I say what lies ahead, yet my heart's desire is that my moments will be marked by gratitude. Wherever this life takes me, however time plays out, may I continually connect with my Source, the One who bears me through the rough places.

Today I breathe thanksgiving, naming so many gifts, most especially this moment. I take in the softness of a man-child's breath, color back into warm skin, lashes on cheeks, chest rising as he rests and recovers. Today, I celebrate anew the gift of my son, and the restoration of life on the anniversary of his birth. My own plans set aside, I choose to recognize the gift of this day and find my heart is alight with many graces.
~Just Me